I truly hope that you will enjoy reading my blog. I hope to keep you all entertained. It may take a little while, but soon, you will know everything about me, past, present and future. Feel free to ask anything. Please be respectful, though. Thank you all very much for reading!!!
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Thursday, March 25, 2010

So, to tell my story

First of all, I was adopted to a wonderful loving family who could not have children, they are all I have ever known.  They got me when I was 3 days old, after they got me they had 2 more kids, my sisters!  They gave us everything that we needed and mostly wanted.  They always told me that we could be open and honest with each other, but ever time that I would, it would get turned around on me, used against me.  So I stopped the open, honest thing.  Things between us would just get worse and worse.  I didn't share with them, so they didn't trust me.  They would snoop through all of my things all the time.  I was fairly young the first time that I recall them doing this.  I came home after being out with my uncle all day, and my mama had just up and decided to paint my room.  All my stuff was gathered in the room and she found some letters or something with "bad words" in them.  I got in trouble.  They continued to snoop, and of course, all kids do things they shouldn't, they found other stuff.  When I was in middle school, they didn't like any of my friends, so I wasn't really allowed to go anywhere.  They didn't trust them or me because they didn't know the families they were from.  I got really tired of it, so obviously I rebelled.  I started smoking pot when I was in high school, with my first real boyfriend.  I loved smoking, but of course my parents found some... and I got in trouble about that.  They didn't like my boyfriend much.  After being together for about a year and a half I found out that I was pregnant.  At the time, I was only 16.  They would try to turn it around on my boyfriend when they would see him out with my friends and I was stuck home, but they forbid him to see me, what was he supposed to do?  So, shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I lost the baby.  Then my parents pretty much freaked out on me.  They put me in a hospital claiming I was depressed, pulled me out of school for a while and made me go to a school that did like therapy with the school lessons.  After a short time they did lighten up a bit, but I still had to go to a counselor every so often.  I did finish high school, even thought I got into quite a bit of trouble here and there, but hey who doesn't right?  After high school, I decided to take a year off from school.  After a month or so, I even quit my job.  I started hanging around with people that weren't looking out for my best interest.  I smoked pot and partied like most others do at that age.  When I was 19 I was arrested for selling pot.  May I just say that I was NOT selling it though.  I had never been in trouble like that with the law and haven't since.  From what I was told, it was like a technicality.  Like I went and bought the weed from someone FOR someone, so I was the one charged with the actual sell.  I really don't know, like I said, not much trouble with the law like that.  So, I got a bogus charge, $10 of weed for me=3 years drug offender probation.  So for 3 years I had ALOT of things that I had to be sure got done, alot of money to pay, and community service to do, and on top of it, I had to be home by 6pm EVERY night unless I was working.  My mom finally fessed up and told me herself that she spoke to the judge and told him to give me that curfew.  That made me think that they had a hand in my being in trouble too, but I can't prove it, and it's in the past.  They thought that I was doing a whole lot of things I really wasn't.   They thought I was in deeper than I really was.  I was in a bad direction, some kids shot my car cause they thought I had something to do with their money being stolen, which I didn't, and stuff like that, but I really wasn't into the stuff they thought that I was.  So, I did my 3 years of probation, meanwhile, turning into an alcoholic.  I would say for about 5 years straight I drank EVERY day.  No lie.  Sad  but true.  Not that I was addicted to drinking, like that, I just didn't have any motivation to do something besides drink.  I was so happy to be off my probation that I just started partying hard like all the time.  I had a job that I worked in the evenings, so when I got off it was just perfect timing to hit the club.  I got pretty bad off.  I was always chasing the next high.  I really never was addicted, like I said before, I enjoyed it, and just had no motivation to stop.  The way I saw it, I was only affecting myself.  It was my life, and it shouldn't matter to anyone else what I did.  After a year or so more of my ridiculous partying, and another miscarriage, I met this guy.  Something just drew me to him.  It didn't help much he would sit up at my work for my whole shift!  I ended up moving in with him really quick like, I'm talking weeks.  He ended up being the best man ever!  We are now married!!  We have 2 beautiful children together.  If I wouldn't have met him, and had kids, I don't know where I would be today.  Possibly dead.  The life I had before, sometimes, I'm not going to lie, I do miss it.  The freedom of not having to worry about everything, cuz it was just me, that was great.  The partying, I LOVED it.  It was my life.  I was a professional partier, if there is such a thing.  But, I wouldn't change my life now for the world!  When I really started falling for him, he really stepped in and told me how much better  I was than what I was doing.  So eventually I stopped all the drinking and all the drugs.  Mostly, it was because I found out I was pregnant.  I would NEVER drink or party being pregnant.  I do NOT agree with that at all.  It has been over 3 years and I haven't drank or done drugs since.  Just put them down, like that.  I finally had my motivation!  So, we had a daughter.  She is beautiful!  Right before she was born, I'm talking days, we got married.  My husband is from Mexico.  His parents sent him here illegally when he was 16.  So, we started working on getting him to a legal status, that way he could find himself a better job.  We started the paperwork in June 2007.  We sent papers back and forth for a while.  The next year, we found out that I was pregnant with our second child!  Shortly after that, we get a letter in the mail saying he had his visa appt down in Mexico.  So, he left in August of 2008.  They denied him his visa and sent him to a waiver appt.  He had to wait for 2 months to go to that one.  So, in November 2008, he went to that appt.  They told him that we didn't give them enough information, we had 30 days to get it together, or we have to start all over again.  So here I am like 7 months pregnant and they won't let my husband come home to me.  The following January, our son was born.  My dad went back with me for my c-section (my mom has a weak tummy) and my husband only got to talk with me on the phone.  Forever it seemed like he got to see his son only via webcam.  It was very sad.  For  me and for him.  It was a very depressing time in my life.  But God knew what He was doing.  Through the time that my husband was gone, I got closer to God.  I know that He had His reasons for us to be separated like we were.  I finally got the call from my lawyer in November 2009 letting me know that my husbands papers were FINALLY APPROVED!  That Thanksgiving my whole family was just so happy and excited.  We truly had something to be thankful for.  Our family was together, legally and we didn't have that rain cloud over our heads anymore.  Since then, life goes on as normal.  Ups and downs like everyone else.  That take us up to the here and now, which my blog will continue on as........Hope you enjoy and if there are any questions, please, feel free to ask away!

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